This is the Good Stuff

Sometimes life just seems so uncertain, doesn't it? I am, by nature or nurture or whatever you want to peg it on, Type A. I have a love/hate, loathe/respect, embrace/resent relationship with that fact. I see friends who are so laid back and seem so comfortable and happy-go-lucky. Meanwhile, I pine away thinking up some master plan to secure my future. All the while, trying to fake that I didn't put much thought into it and am really quite comfortable with "whatever goes". God, I believe, has different plans for me. I honestly believe God foils my plans on purpose so that I might see something better and bigger than the little things that I waste my life perfecting so as to avoid a little pain.

I was reading Isaiah 43 today. "...Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior." I realized that this verse jumped out of my memory and bit me today because I think my drive to plan-plan-plan and perfect everything is mainly a product of my fearfulness. Somewhere deep down, I want to control everything because I think my plan is better somehow. So if God is what He says He is, and I believe that He is, then I have someone who will be with me when I feel like I am drowning. Someone knows I feel like if one more wave hits me, I will surely collapse and be swept away like shack in a mudslide. Someone, who is in control of the amount of pain and suffering that comes up in my life, says to me, "I know. And you may feel like you can't handle it, but I can. And I am here with you! And I am the point!" God does not promise to save me from literal natural disasters or to keep me from encountering situations that seem unfair or are painful. He promises to be with me and to make me come out on the other side for the better. Better does not mean what we all think it does. Job security, money, houses, even friendships are all temporary blessings that may come and go in my life. When someone asks you, "how are you doing, really?" Isn't it those things we think of immediately? Oh school is going great. The kids are growing up fast. I just got a promotion. I just got engaged. I just got.... fill in the blank with whatever you wish. Is the first thing that comes to mind deep satisfaction in a relationship with a God who loves you? I know it's not what comes to my mind first. What if the hardships are the good stuff? The things that make you realize what in your life is REALLY important? The things that help you get past your demons and your shortfalls to become the person you were created to be?

Michael and I were sitting in the living room today, talking about all of the areas in our lives that are uncertain right now. In fact, I struggle to come up with anything that DOES feel certain or under control! I didn't say it out loud, but death and taxes came to mind. I feel such an urge to grab the must-haves on my list of things I really don't want to let go and just plan my life to death to be "safe". Michael and Annie definitely are on that list of things. Isn't it hard with kids to truly let God have control? With a spouse who has his God-given goals and dreams that might or might not line up with all of yours? I know this is somewhere around the eight-hundredth time I have let this theme run rampant in my blogs, but like I said: I'm Type A and this is my struggle in life. The more I love something the more I struggle to just let go.

I hope that Annie and Michael get the blessing someday of a mother and wife who realizes that the one thing I should be grasping for and seeking out and pining after the most is my relationship with the God who promises everything that is good stuff and lets me go through what I must to get there. So for now, I am going to do my best to remember this verse all day long while I'm busy worrying my life away!

One Step at a Time

It is official. My little rugrat has done what I have been hoping she would delay for quite some time. In fact, the last blog I wrote was the day before she took her first steps! Annoyingly, she took them while she was holding on to the recliner standing next to Cubbie. She took the steps to reach Cubbie for a big furry hug! I mean, isn't she supposed to take her first steps to reach Mommy and Daddy? It amuses me every time I tell someone what she did, they exclaim happily, "wow! That is early! Good for her!". I'm sorry, but good for whom? As you can see, mobile Annie requires a lot more work! :o) Today I had her in the bathroom with me (I mean, it's tiny! What could she possibly get into when she is within arms reach all the time?) and you can see how that went. On the day she first walked, I had Annie in the living room surrounded by her eight-hundred new toys from Christmas and I (stupidly) thought it was safe to run to the bathroom to grab a hair tie quickly. I came around the corner to see that Annie had started to follow me in but got distracted by the pantry. She was sitting on the floor with an open Cheerios box(she even pulled off the chip-clip!), mouth and fist full of cheerios. Annie had a fun play-date lately. Here, she is meeting her future husband, Sam. Sam is just 6 days older than Annie, but he is in the 90th% for weight and Annie is in the 25th. It was quite the stark contrast! Isn't he hansome? We think they'd make a wonderful pair. Sam's parents and I watched and laughed as Annie and Sam grabbed for each others' hands, stole each others toys, and laughed at one another. We had to intervene, however, when Annie tried to give the stolen toy back. In Sam's eye. Details... we'll work on those skills later.

Speaking of Annie's weight, she dropped from the 50th to the 25th percentile between well-child appointments. Lactation consultants at work reassure me that this is normal, especially considering how, as my friends put it, "intense" she is. My pediatrician was concerned though. We have started to give her avacados with her meals and added in some other proteins like ground turkey and beans. She isn't taking to the new textures very well, but we'll keep working on it! I am beginning to wonder if my milk supply is on its way out... This week I was scheduled 4 twelve hour shifts in 8 days and had to take 4 hours of call in the middle of it. (I only work 24 hrs a week, but they ended up being at the back of one week and the front of the next so this is how it worked out). When I'm at work, I seldom take the time to drink more than a few glasses of water on the run and I might get to pump twice. This presents a huge dilemma when I work this much in one week. I am running low on my frozen milk for the sitter, Annie's weight is down, and I can't seem to be home enough days in a row to build it back up! Annie woke up twice last night and I think it was just because she was hungry. The other problem is that when I work, I don't sleep nearly enough and it is very hard for me to choose to stay up late and get up early to pump knowing full well it will be until the weekend before I get to attempt catching up on a fraction of my lost sleep. I'm not throwing in the towel yet, but I hope I can get this squared away sooner rather than later!

It is a very difficult feeling to reach the point where you can't physically provide your child's nutrients. I thought I'd be pretty happy to make it this far honestly. It is surprising to me, as a person to claims no judgement towards my patients who choose to bottle feed, how much I am judging myself! 9 1/2 months of nursing while going to work (although part-time) is tough. As a nurse, I find it very difficult to ask others to take care of me while I'm supposed to be taking care of others. In my mind, knowing asking for breaks to pump was really for Annie made it much easier, but it is still easy to feel like you are a drag on the unit you're working on. I will continue to take every step I can to ensure Annie gets my milk until she is a year old, but I guess I need to be ok with the fact that if I can't, I can't.

Aside from the pumping, work is getting better and better for me in terms of not missing Annie like crazy the whole time I'm gone. It helps tremendously knowing my babysitter is a family friend and loves her dearly. I still felt a little choked up yesterday on my way to work, but 52 hours in 8 days is a lot of time to be away!

I am looking forward to a haircut and highlights on Friday. I feel like I look washed out and wintery! Michael and I have been comitted to working out and eating better lately and I am starting to feel better about myself there, but I need to get back to doing my hair on a regular basis! How does one take a shower when they have a walker though? She throws a FIT if I confine her in any way (to a jumpy seat, in a playpen, etc) while I am in the shower and her room shares a wall with my shower so when she is napping she often wakes up if I sneak in my shower then. I am half temped to put her in the shower with me! Hmm....

At our last appointment for Annie, she still has an ear infection that we are on round 2 of antibiotics with. She had just gotten over one in one ear when this one started in the other. I am sad to say I think I see tubes in our future... She has one strike left! I am fairly certain she is getting sick mostly from the church nursery (as am I!) but I need to keep in mind that socialization is very important, as is building up her immune system. Sick now, or sick in kindergarten? It's a wash if you ask me. Might as well get it over with! We also had to start her on some special lotion for her eczema. It appears I need to go back to strictly cutting out eggs and milk again. I have found some great recipes for baked goods that don't done use dairy or eggs, including chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and coffee cake. It helps to be watching what you are eating when its necessary to exclude eggs and dairy too since all of my comfort foods have them in the ingredients!

That's all for updates now! More to come...

Lets get real

So. I would love to write a blog about how I feel as blessed as I truly am and how Mommyhood is nothing but roses. However, the truth of the matter is, I am feeling like a bad Mommy today. Annie is going on three weeks with who-knows-what sickness/cold/ear ache. She is being really clingy- if I pick her up, she reaches for the ground. When I set her down, she cries. When we play, she does ok for like 20 minutes and then she wants to do something else. Every 20 minutes. And she has been taking two 30 minute naps, 15 minutes of which I am rocking her to sleep and trying to get to her bedroom to sneak away before she knows I laid her down. So, my time to clean up, cook, do laundry, and take care of general business around the house has been SO limited! The only time I have to accomplish anything seems like it is after Annie goes to bed at 7. And then I stay up too late doing that stuff. And then it gets dirty again right after I clean it, as things that get used do. And I am frustrated. This is no surprise to anyone who has ever been a mother. This is the way it goes. I am a little sick myself (not bad, just a small cold) and have been for what seems like a month. I think I could get better if I just could get enough sleep, but sleep is not happening. I feel like I am on the edge of losing it!

This tiny stress (which really is tiny in the grand scheme of things) has really added stress to our marriage. Everyone has periods of stress in their marriages if they are honest, that is just the way relationships go. Sharing the responsibility of parenthood is a really good revealer of your true expectations and your true motives I believe. There is a little person who is completely dependent on you. Both of you. It feels really easy to point fingers and hold a grudge when things don't go smoothly. It is so hard to look at yourself and say, "wow, I am just as selfish as I think you are!", isn't it? I know this period of pulling weeds and laying new soil will pass on to greener pastures and that I am very fortunate to have a loving husband who is committed to getting in the dirt and pulling those weeds with me. It doesn't make me happy to be here though! Isn't that just the thing? God doesn't promise us happiness. He promises a lot of things, but happiness and comfort aren't two of them. I believe God promises joy--which is different in my mind than happiness. Happiness is directly related to your circumstances I think. Joy runs deeper to a place that can't be interrupted by life's snafu's. I need to spend more time praying and less time wishing things were different and recalling my day's injustices.

I feel really guilty being a stick in the mud. I am SO very blessed to have a child and especially one like Annie. I keep remembering the day I found out I had endometriosis. Even when I was a kid, I knew I always wanted to be a mommy. I played house with dolls, I babysat from the time I was 12 and on and loved it, and I just knew that was what I was supposed to be when I "grew up". Well, I am not sure if I ever grew up, but the day I was told that there might be a chance that fertility would be difficult for me, I was crushed. When I found out I was pregnant, I totally was not expecting it. My heart was elated and I was so grateful to God for this immeasurable gift. How quickly I forget. I never felt like I could relate to the Old Testament. Israel seemed to never get it right! And just like Israel, I went back to worshiping myself and my life and forgot about God's gracious gifts to me. Right now, I think God is teaching me to lean on Him and I am being stubborn. I want to be in control of things. I want to think that if I do everything just right as a mom, my child will do certain things in response. (Wowee, I am going to have a rough time with teenagers! I can see it now!) But Annie is just a baby. She doesn't understand why she doesn't feel good; why teeth hurt so much and don't ask permission; why she has to sleep when there is so much to see and to do! I am to guide her and direct her, but ultimately, she can jump off the path if she wants to.

Here's to praying this new year that I get just one step closer to letting go and letting God be God.

Christmas tooth

Annie's first Christmas... or maybe more appropriately "The first Christmas with Annie" for the rest of us, was SUPER FUN! Well mostly anyway. A few days before Christmas, Annie came down with an ear infection, pink eye, and her first tooth all on the same day! And the crazy part is she was no worse for the wear. She was happy and mobile as ever! The downside to teeth: Biting. Need I say more?

Christmas Day we woke up late as a family (THANK YOU ANNIE!!) and ate some breakfast together. My hope is to make Christmas breakfast a fun tradition for our family. This year I had to make three separate breakfasts as egg-free, dairy-free didn't sound appealing (understandably) to Michael. So I made one cheesy ham omelet him, one dairy and egg free waffle for me, and apple oatmeal for Annie. Then, we sat around the tree, anxiously waiting for Annie to figure out the box in front of her was for ripping into. We didn't think this would take long because she is a box-opening-specialist, but for whatever reason she needed some goading. All it took was tearing the corner of the pretty paper and it was on! Annie LOVED her new little talking-singing-spanglish kitchen. We got to spend good time with both families (Shields and Purse) over the holidays which was really nice! I spent the first day back deciding which toys to put out for her and which ones to hide and bring out later!

Annie has perfected some signature moves recently. One of which I like to refer to as the "death roll". I believe this is what alligators do to kill their prey. This is also what Annie does to kill her mother. JUST when I get an especially messy diaper off, Annie starts twisting her entire body in an effort to turn around and stand up. Baby wrangling is the next class on my to-do list. I will win!

Annie also has learned an especially adorable trick. While she helps me with (unfolding the clean) laundry, she will usually grab a garment, pull it over her head and wait for mommy to play peek-a-boo! What is even funnier is that sometimes the garment is underwear. I can't wait to get a picture of that...

Thanks to her Grandma Shields (THANKS A LOT!) Annie can climb stairs. And anything else that is knee-height for that matter. Annie is CRAZY full of energy. With an attention span of about a half second, Annie gets into everything! She will go from one "no no" to another, spanning the room from the stairs to the electrical outlet, to mommy's phone, to her purse, to shoes, to the dog, to the dog's toys.... Nevermind that she got a million really cool toys for Christmas that light up and sing! You see, toys are for children and I have a monkey.

I can't believe we have entered a new year. As I look back, we have much to be thankful for! Great friends, loving family, and the biggest blessing we have ever received--our little Annie--have made this last year one to remember! Annie is looking more and more like a little toddler and acting less and less like my little baby! I cherish the moments she still allows me to snuggle with her and rock with her as I know those are going to be few and far between soon. Every stage has been a blast and we look forward to whatever surprises come in 2011!

The Dreaded Little-Girl-Face

I am not sure how it happened or when it happened, but Annie has traded her chubby baby face in for a little girl face! She doesn't look like a little baby anymore. She doesn't nap like a little baby anymore. She can get it herself, thank you very much! It happened WAY too fast! Yes, yes. I know. You, your mom, and your grandma probably told me yourselves it would happen way too fast. I'm still shocked though.

Well, for those moms out there who have been through a week of sickness (which I like to refer to as the Purse Family Plague) I now understand even MORE why mother's get a special day of the year. We started two weekends ago with Annie getting a lot of nasal congestion which then led to a couple of nights getting up really often with her. Since Annie doesn't like to take naps anymore, that meant I was WAY behind on the old sleep-o-meter. Then, I got the stomach flu on Thursday. That was SO miserable. I threw my back out while trying to run to the bathroom with what surely is an 18-lb child now. So then, I was carrying around a double plastic grocery bag while crawling back and forth to the bathroom, waving a scarf behind me hoping Annie would find it fun to chase me there so I could keep an eye on her. After calling everyone I knew during the day to see if someone was willing to brave the plague to watch Annie so I could puke in peace, I finally called Michael who was swamped at work and couldn't come home until 4:30pm an I'm just not sure how I got to the end of the day! One good night of sleep (I mean like 15 hours in a row) and I was good as new for work the next day. Then, poor Michael threw up for the first time in years all day long and caught what I had! Sunday, I went to work and ended up coming home with a fever, chills, and a sore throat. I think I have filled my quota. God, can we take a little character-builder-break? I know I have a long way to go, but this seems like a bit much!

On to more important things. Annie is SO close to walking. I am not sure when she will feel motivated enough to give it a whirl though because she can crawl-skip at a pretty fierce clip. I feel like she does something hilarious every day and in my sleep deprived state, I can't for the life of me remember most of them! She definitely knows when she is getting into something she shouldn't though. The dog inevitably tracks in a leaf or some dirt by the sliding glass door in the living room and Annie LOVES to teleport herself there before I realize what is going on and pick up the tiniest piece of it. When she sees me racing towards her to prevent it from getting in her mouth, she squeels, shoves it in her mouth as quickly as possible and bolts on the other direction. When I catch her, she throws her hands up and down in defeat. So dramatic.

She has adapted her mouth to suit her needs in a variety of ways. Annie has learned that if she has to get from here to there, her hands are used up for the crawling and she must use her mouth if she wants the toy to go with her. I am amazed at the size of things that have fit in her tiny mouth. She also uses her mouth to help her pull up on furniture and things. Hey, every little bit of leverage helps! She loves to give open-mouth slobbery "kisses". Much to my delight as a nursing mother, she has not, however, learned how to sprout a tooth! There are no teeth in sight, in fact. Thank you Santa!! All I want for Christmas is NO front teeth. Now THAT is a song in the making.

Annie loves to help mommy and daddy with the laundry. Every time I fold something and stack it neatly, she sees this as an opportunity to unfold it. And throw it. She is especially tickled by socks, which she waves over her head in pride before launching them behind her. She really enjoys emptying things. Does anyone know how to get her to enjoy putting them back?

One thing she does NOT love is her snowsuit. When Annie is in it, the overstuffed suit keeps her almost completely immobile. She can't grab anything because the ends of it cover her fingers like a mitten and she can't bend her arm to get to her face because the arms are so stiff. Usually, she just lays there in defeat, with a disgusted, "are you SERIOUS?" look on her face until we arrive to our destination where she can finally take it off.

I am looking very forward to Christmas this year. Some of my relatives will get to meet Annie for the first time and I am also thinking she will have a blast unwrapping her presents. And my presents. And your presents. Better get the camera charged up...

It has dawned on me lately that I haven't taken any professional pictures of Annie since she was a newborn. I am embaressed to say it almost but there always seemed to be some unforeseen expense that snuck up and stole the opportunity from me. And now, Annie has a parenthesis-like rash around her mouth that is bright red so I can't take them this week. Hopefully soon! I feel like a bad parent not having any good professional pictures of her yet!

I have been thinking a lot lately about our next big steps in life. One being the planning(or not planning) of our next child, should we be so blessed to do this again. It pops into your mind, you know, when your baby stops looking like a baby. Do you plan to have them 2 years or so apart to get through all of the diaper-changing-sleep-deprivation-disorganized-mess-survival-mode-hard-on-your-marriage stuff in a whirlwind of 6 years in a row or do you space them like 4 years apart and get used to the child tying her own shoes and feeding herself breakfast just in time to start the whole cycle again? I guess God will allow what He thinks I should do for my family. I hope I am a good listener!

I have also seen a need arise for discipline to begin in tiny little ways. My friend at work told me recently she was embaressed when her son told his teacher that his name was ___ No ____. He actually thought his middle name was No! I feel like as many times as I have to say "No" to keep her from chewing on a lamp cord, pulling off my glasses, sucking on Cubbie's toys, or rolling over while I am trying to change her diaper, she is going to be confused about the meaning of this word. She is definitely too small for sitting in the corner or a spank(which I am not sure about doing anyway). I am going to read some books on the topic, send some in my direction if you know of a good one!

Cruising through 8 months

Unfortunately, I won't have pictures right away to upload to this blog (and it really is unfortunate because I have the opinion, albeit biased, that she is the cutest little thing ever!) because my computer and all of the pictures on it bit the dust a couple of weeks ago. Not having any regular access to the Internet is not my idea of a good time. It's funny, losing the Internet gives me the feeling of being third-world or mute. I get a lot of my social needs filled by reading what everyone is up to and telling everyone what new trick Annie learned and hearing their responses! It has given me some much needed time to spend in quiet reflection though and I definitely needed to stop filling my days with more stuff. Spending a little more time doing a little less has proven to be much more in the end.

Anywho. I turned 29 last week and wow, what a difference a baby makes. :o) She is the best gift I have ever received to date. But having a baby does change things for sure. It felt very odd waking up early on my birthday, then starting out with diapers, feedings, laundry and all of the things I do every single day. Just another day. On the same hand, I feel so privileged to get to do those things because it means I have my wonderful daughter and husband in my life! Birthdays just aren't about me anymore I think. And this is a good thing. The less into myself I get the better life gets. Michael took me out for dinner though and my mom watched Annie for a few hours and that was nice. I did get to see my best friend from NY for a couple days and that was also an awesome gift!

Annie is a completely different baby from the last time I posted. I don't know where to start! She is not your average baby I am learning. I dropped her off at a friend of mine's house to watch her who also has what I have always considered a very active little girl. Evidently Annie is even more high maintenance than that! Turns out everyone else's baby doesn't need to be within grabbing range of their mother all the time. Annie is just a very social little girl. She doesn't like to be alone for even a few seconds! Not that I could leave her alone anyway. I am fairly certain she could find something she isn't supposed to be getting into even if I had her in a cardboard box(pictures coming soon to prove my point). She is pulling to a stand on anything taller than 4 inches and she cruises from one piece of furniture to the next. She can zip across the room very quickly now, but it is the most hilarious crawl I have ever seen... she uses her left leg the appropriate way but her right she tries to stand with so she alternates a bent left crawl-leg with a straight right leg, butt up in the air. I think Annie has invented a new way to crawl-skip.

Annie is tasting all kinds of new things these days. She is a very good eater, thankfully! She loves cauliflower and really likes this baby food mix of carrots, apples, and parsnips (what do parsnips even look like?). We are also trying to let her cry it out at night this week when we put her down and if she wakes up in the night. So far it has been working but she does throw a HUGE fit! She screams as if I were cutting her arm off! Then, she pauses to see if I'm going to respond to the latest tantrum before launching into another 5 minutes or so of full-out-fit throwing. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

I am learning lately a lot about what it really means to follow Christ. I believe what is asked of me is that I give selflessly to my spouse and my daughter and anyone else who enters my life without expecting anything in return and without regard to whether they earned it or not. It struck me this week how very difficult that is! I am definitely bad at it. I can't go 5 minutes without catching myself thinking about what I want and being frustrated that I can't have it or control it or that it wasn't recognized. I am not saying that mothers should never care for themselves, quit working out, spend no time with friends, and have no brain as they slave away in the name of love. But I do think motherhood seems to be a constant reminder that my heart is in need of something outside of myself. Which brings me to my next thought: I am the greatest of hypocrites. I do what I don't want to do and think what I don't want to think. We had a great sermon at church this Sunday calling out all of us who are great theologians and horrible Christians. I need God's intervention daily if not minute-ly. I can understand and make perfect sense in my head of God's plan for me and how it is best. Then I can act like I totally don't believe it! This was very evident to me in the first 6 months of marriage, but now that I have Annie I feel all the more aware of it! All I can hope for is that Annie turns out more like Christ and less like me! :o) I am so blessed to have a God who cares for me enough to keep me uncomfortable. That sounds like a really weird thing to say, but I find that when I get comfortable, that is when I am the worst version of myself. I fail to see my needy state of being and start thinking I have things under control. The next thing I know, I can only think of myself.

So, as Thanksgiving approaches, I am going to be thankful for being uncomfortable and tired because it helps me to see what really matters in life. I am thankful for people in my life who choose to love me anyway! I am thankful for the people in my life who I need to extend the same grace to that I receive on a daily basis. I am thankful for my sweet baby girl--a constant reminder to me of God's love for me that stretches even farther than what I can muster up for my own child. I am thankful for a husband who desires good things for our family and who works hard for us. I am thankful that I have a job and health insurance and a car that runs! I am thankful to have two sets of great parents who have helped guide us through a year of great changes. Happy Thanksgiving!

Creepy Crawlies

Halloween is coming and Annie is ready! Complete with super adorable puppy costume. Also fitting for the season, Annie is creeping and crawling! I got lucky and was home from work the day she started making progress with her crawling. She does what I like to call the "seal flop" to get forward movement. Annie will start out on her hands and knees, then push her tush up in the air and run in place. After this fails to get her where she wants to go, she then just throws her upper half forward and flops her legs rhythmically until she reaches something she wants (or loses her temper because it took too long). I am coming to realize this will be my scariest Halloween yet! From grabbing my hot coffee mug (even though I had her on the opposite hip and was being very careful!)--which luckily dumped on me and not her-- to crawling over and grabbing the power strip in the 5 seconds it took me to walk 3 feet to let the dog out and turn back around to look at her, she has dropped my heart into my shoes plenty this month! She has also pulled the (cool) iron from the wall, stuck her hand in my soup, and quite nearly pulled dinner onto the floor by craftily tugging on the place mats(luckily Michael plays some good defense). I have decided there are some things (lightweight bookcases with decorative stuff on them) we just need to pack up and put away, but I'm contemplating getting a gate-enclosure play area for her. My mind is spinning with all of the potential poisonous, electrical, heavy, sharp, and hot things that are now within her reach.

I am also learning that the hardest part of being a mommy is coming up on me quickly: actual parenting! Before, I was a milk dispenser, a snuggler, a comforter, a playmate, a protector. But now, I have to parent. Yikes. I can see her little purposeful whines and cries manipulating me into what she wants and I have realized it is time to introduce the most powerful two-letter-word in our language: NO. Annie has found it interesting to see what happens when she grabs some skin and pinches. I scoop up her hand and, with as firm a voice as I can muster while looking at such a cute face, say, "no!". She stops, pauses, and then she laughs. She laughs! I am IN for it. While discipline may be no fun, having "that kid" in the grocery store is probably worse. It is so tough thinking about all of your options when it comes to discipline. Right now it is pretty simple, but later? Spank? Time out? Both? Neither? Eat it or go to bed without dinner

or eat it or no dessert or hide the food they don't in stuff so they'll eat it? Aye. It's a good thing I have a year and a half before she is 2! They may not learn how to speak french overnight, but I can't even believe how quickly she became mobile. At the risk of sounding like a total mom, I can't believe how fast they grow up.

We have been very busy this month. Michael was honored to be chosen as a groomsman in two weddings this month. I could only attend one of them and we went last weekend for the event with what I am pretty sure was fully half of everything that belongs to Annie. How does that happen? How can someone who weighs less than my left leg need the biggest suitcase by a long-shot? Maybe I should just wear a t-shirt that says, "First Time Mom" on it when I go to things like this. Then all will be clear. And actually, I think I may be freakishly over-prepared even for a first-timer. Annie did pretty well with the driving and since I took enough entertainment to start my own daycare in the hotel room, she was also pretty content the rest of the weekend. My wonderful mother-in-law was able to stay in an adjoining room with us so I could attend most of the festivities. She had such a good time she tried to fit Annie in her suitcase (nice try Grandma!). It really was a much needed time for Michael and I to get dressed up, dance, and enjoy the evening together while celebrating with close friends.

Annie's latest favorite things include playing peek-a-boo, itsy bitsy spider, pat-a-cake, and doing the chicken dance. She also enjoys hamming it up for anyone who will give her attention by showing her gummy grin and then hiding in my shoulder. If she does not get attention, she has learned to cough until we look in her direction. She plays on the floor with her toys but keeps a close tab on her caregiver. Occasionally, she will turn and grab my leg. "Just checking!"

She also loves to read/eat books and she still loves a good snuggle from time to time!

That is the latest and greatest... until next time!