Unfortunately, I won't have pictures right away to upload to this blog (and it really is unfortunate because I have the opinion, albeit biased, that she is the cutest little thing ever!) because my computer and all of the pictures on it bit the dust a couple of weeks ago. Not having any regular access to the Internet is not my idea of a good time. It's funny, losing the Internet gives me the feeling of being third-world or mute. I get a lot of my social needs filled by reading what everyone is up to and telling everyone what new trick Annie learned and hearing their responses! It has given me some much needed time to spend in quiet reflection though and I definitely needed to stop filling my days with more stuff. Spending a little more time doing a little less has proven to be much more in the end.
Anywho. I turned 29 last week and wow, what a difference a baby makes. :o) She is the best gift I have ever received to date. But having a baby does change things for sure. It felt very odd waking up early on my birthday, then starting out with diapers, feedings, laundry and all of the things I do every single day. Just another day. On the same hand, I feel so privileged to get to do those things because it means I have my wonderful daughter and husband in my life! Birthdays just aren't about me anymore I think. And this is a good thing. The less into myself I get the better life gets. Michael took me out for dinner though and my mom watched Annie for a few hours and that was nice. I did get to see my best friend from NY for a couple days and that was also an awesome gift!
Annie is a completely different baby from the last time I posted. I don't know where to start! She is not your average baby I am learning. I dropped her off at a friend of mine's house to watch her who also has what I have always considered a very active little girl. Evidently Annie is even more high maintenance than that! Turns out everyone else's baby doesn't need to be within grabbing range of their mother all the time. Annie is just a very social little girl. She doesn't like to be alone for even a few seconds! Not that I could leave her alone anyway. I am fairly certain she could find something she isn't supposed to be getting into even if I had her in a cardboard box(pictures coming soon to prove my point). She is pulling to a stand on anything taller than 4 inches and she cruises from one piece of furniture to the next. She can zip across the room very quickly now, but it is the most hilarious crawl I have ever seen... she uses her left leg the appropriate way but her right she tries to stand with so she alternates a bent left crawl-leg with a straight right leg, butt up in the air. I think Annie has invented a new way to crawl-skip.
Annie is tasting all kinds of new things these days. She is a very good eater, thankfully! She loves cauliflower and really likes this baby food mix of carrots, apples, and parsnips (what do parsnips even look like?). We are also trying to let her cry it out at night this week when we put her down and if she wakes up in the night. So far it has been working but she does throw a HUGE fit! She screams as if I were cutting her arm off! Then, she pauses to see if I'm going to respond to the latest tantrum before launching into another 5 minutes or so of full-out-fit throwing. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
I am learning lately a lot about what it really means to follow Christ. I believe what is asked of me is that I give selflessly to my spouse and my daughter and anyone else who enters my life without expecting anything in return and without regard to whether they earned it or not. It struck me this week how very difficult that is! I am definitely bad at it. I can't go 5 minutes without catching myself thinking about what I want and being frustrated that I can't have it or control it or that it wasn't recognized. I am not saying that mothers should never care for themselves, quit working out, spend no time with friends, and have no brain as they slave away in the name of love. But I do think motherhood seems to be a constant reminder that my heart is in need of something outside of myself. Which brings me to my next thought: I am the greatest of hypocrites. I do what I don't want to do and think what I don't want to think. We had a great sermon at church this Sunday calling out all of us who are great theologians and horrible Christians. I need God's intervention daily if not minute-ly. I can understand and make perfect sense in my head of God's plan for me and how it is best. Then I can act like I totally don't believe it! This was very evident to me in the first 6 months of marriage, but now that I have Annie I feel all the more aware of it! All I can hope for is that Annie turns out more like Christ and less like me! :o) I am so blessed to have a God who cares for me enough to keep me uncomfortable. That sounds like a really weird thing to say, but I find that when I get comfortable, that is when I am the worst version of myself. I fail to see my needy state of being and start thinking I have things under control. The next thing I know, I can only think of myself.
So, as Thanksgiving approaches, I am going to be thankful for being uncomfortable and tired because it helps me to see what really matters in life. I am thankful for people in my life who choose to love me anyway! I am thankful for the people in my life who I need to extend the same grace to that I receive on a daily basis. I am thankful for my sweet baby girl--a constant reminder to me of God's love for me that stretches even farther than what I can muster up for my own child. I am thankful for a husband who desires good things for our family and who works hard for us. I am thankful that I have a job and health insurance and a car that runs! I am thankful to have two sets of great parents who have helped guide us through a year of great changes. Happy Thanksgiving!
Anywho. I turned 29 last week and wow, what a difference a baby makes. :o) She is the best gift I have ever received to date. But having a baby does change things for sure. It felt very odd waking up early on my birthday, then starting out with diapers, feedings, laundry and all of the things I do every single day. Just another day. On the same hand, I feel so privileged to get to do those things because it means I have my wonderful daughter and husband in my life! Birthdays just aren't about me anymore I think. And this is a good thing. The less into myself I get the better life gets. Michael took me out for dinner though and my mom watched Annie for a few hours and that was nice. I did get to see my best friend from NY for a couple days and that was also an awesome gift!
Annie is a completely different baby from the last time I posted. I don't know where to start! She is not your average baby I am learning. I dropped her off at a friend of mine's house to watch her who also has what I have always considered a very active little girl. Evidently Annie is even more high maintenance than that! Turns out everyone else's baby doesn't need to be within grabbing range of their mother all the time. Annie is just a very social little girl. She doesn't like to be alone for even a few seconds! Not that I could leave her alone anyway. I am fairly certain she could find something she isn't supposed to be getting into even if I had her in a cardboard box(pictures coming soon to prove my point). She is pulling to a stand on anything taller than 4 inches and she cruises from one piece of furniture to the next. She can zip across the room very quickly now, but it is the most hilarious crawl I have ever seen... she uses her left leg the appropriate way but her right she tries to stand with so she alternates a bent left crawl-leg with a straight right leg, butt up in the air. I think Annie has invented a new way to crawl-skip.
Annie is tasting all kinds of new things these days. She is a very good eater, thankfully! She loves cauliflower and really likes this baby food mix of carrots, apples, and parsnips (what do parsnips even look like?). We are also trying to let her cry it out at night this week when we put her down and if she wakes up in the night. So far it has been working but she does throw a HUGE fit! She screams as if I were cutting her arm off! Then, she pauses to see if I'm going to respond to the latest tantrum before launching into another 5 minutes or so of full-out-fit throwing. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...I am learning lately a lot about what it really means to follow Christ. I believe what is asked of me is that I give selflessly to my spouse and my daughter and anyone else who enters my life without expecting anything in return and without regard to whether they earned it or not. It struck me this week how very difficult that is! I am definitely bad at it. I can't go 5 minutes without catching myself thinking about what I want and being frustrated that I can't have it or control it or that it wasn't recognized. I am not saying that mothers should never care for themselves, quit working out, spend no time with friends, and have no brain as they slave away in the name of love. But I do think motherhood seems to be a constant reminder that my heart is in need of something outside of myself. Which brings me to my next thought: I am the greatest of hypocrites. I do what I don't want to do and think what I don't want to think. We had a great sermon at church this Sunday calling out all of us who are great theologians and horrible Christians. I need God's intervention daily if not minute-ly. I can understand and make perfect sense in my head of God's plan for me and how it is best. Then I can act like I totally don't believe it! This was very evident to me in the first 6 months of marriage, but now that I have Annie I feel all the more aware of it! All I can hope for is that Annie turns out more like Christ and less like me! :o) I am so blessed to have a God who cares for me enough to keep me uncomfortable. That sounds like a really weird thing to say, but I find that when I get comfortable, that is when I am the worst version of myself. I fail to see my needy state of being and start thinking I have things under control. The next thing I know, I can only think of myself.
So, as Thanksgiving approaches, I am going to be thankful for being uncomfortable and tired because it helps me to see what really matters in life. I am thankful for people in my life who choose to love me anyway! I am thankful for the people in my life who I need to extend the same grace to that I receive on a daily basis. I am thankful for my sweet baby girl--a constant reminder to me of God's love for me that stretches even farther than what I can muster up for my own child. I am thankful for a husband who desires good things for our family and who works hard for us. I am thankful that I have a job and health insurance and a car that runs! I am thankful to have two sets of great parents who have helped guide us through a year of great changes. Happy Thanksgiving!
