I knew going back to work would be hard. I had never been away from her for more than 5 hours that I can think of before this week! I went back on Wednesday and Thursday for 12 hours each and even though I had very good childcare while I was gone, I felt like I abandoned her. Everyone there was super nice and helpful so I could pump as often as was possible, but it was still just impossibly difficult. I had no idea how hard it would be to focus on anything else. I am told that this gets way better with time, nonetheless I am cutting back to two 12 hour shifts per week. The schedule came out before Michael and I decided to cut back though, so I now will have to wait until August. I didn't cry at work on my first day back, but the waterworks came on in full force when I got home! I slept maybe 6 hours that night, even though I had to work the next day because I wanted to hold my sleeping baby until I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Then I woke up at 4:45 in the morning to do it again. The second day was much harder; I cried in the breakroom and teared up several times during the day. She did great with both of our sitters and with Michael while I was gone. When I got home, she gave me a big juicy, gummy grin and nursed for almost an hour. I had no idea how addicted I would be to my little sweet Annie. I feel heartbroken the entire time I am away from her!
On to less depressing things... Annie rolled from her tummy to her back on Tuesday! I could not get a repeat performance even though she was madder than blazes about being on her stomach after that. I am grateful for this, not sure I'm ready for a mobile child at only 3 months! More coming later!
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